It has been a week since I received the phone call from my mom that my grandpa had passed away. Through the past couple of weeks I have been experiencing so many different emotions and the only thing I can do is run to God with a broken heart. Death is so strange. I have been so afraid of it my entire life and here I am, walking through this valley trying to allow God to work in my heart the way only He can. My grandpa was 92 years old when he left this earth to hang out with Jesus in heaven. He lived a long and good life and had many kids, grandkids and great-grandkids to prove it. I love that he loved my mom so well. He loved us well. Every time I talked to him on the phone, he would always ask me about Matt (or Mateo, as he called him). I love that he really liked my husband. I love that he was able to fly from Colombia in order to come to our wedding. Above all, I love that God allowed my mom to be by his side on his last days on earth.
I write this with a raw heart. I hurt for the fact that I won’t see him again on this earth. It is such a strange reality. And then I realize my mom lost her dad, and my heart breaks even more. I think of all of my family members who are going through this painful journey, and it hurts. All of it hurts. And then I think about Jesus, and the pain lightens up a little. I think about his life on earth, his death on the cross, his promise in Matthew 5:4 – “blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” and his words comfort me. I think about eternity, and the sweet promise of heaven in Revelation 21:4 – “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away,” and I can breath. And I think about his incredibly, sweet love and the promise that nothing and no one will ever be able to separate us from Him. It is hard. The valley is hard. The sting of death is there. But it won’t be forever. One day we’ll rejoice before His throne. For now, I will learn to say see you later and allow God to mend our broken hearts.
“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39